Don't Ever Underestimate an Ant

Autumn, my nature lover and future scientist, got an ant farm for Christmas. I got the gift early and mailed for the ants at the end of November, hoping that they would arrive, not long after Christmas. We waited and waited, but no ants. We waited some more, but still no ants. Then, in January, we received a post card from Uncle Milton's Ant Farm, that stated the ants would not arrive until the temperature was above freezing for several days in a row. Every day, we would anxiously check the mail box, but still no ants. We got a second post card, penned by Uncle Milton himself, that said the same thing as the first one. Well, Tuesday was the glorious day. Autumn ripped open the package with trembling hands. At last, the ants had arrived! I was really expecting, tiny, happy little ants. You know, the kind that sing, "The Ants Go Marching One By One" and carry off food from a summer picnic. No. Not these ants. These ants were more like something from a sci-fi movie. They were quite large and had huge pinchers for a mouth. There was a warning label right on the test tube that read: "Do not handle the ants. They will bite.". Uncle Milton...."WHO SENDS GIANT, BITING, KILLER ANTS TO A CHILD WITH AN ANT FARM????" My mother was over at our house, and 9 pairs of eyes were gathered around the table to witness the placing of the ants, into their new home. We placed the ants in the refrigerator for 15 minutes to calm them, per the directions, and Autumn watched the timer on the microwave, nervously.We removed the ants from the fridge, but by the time we finished perfecting the crude "funnel" we had made from some note cards, the ants were anything, but "calm". Now, Uncle Milton, "WHO DESIGNS A RECTANGLE ANT FARM AND THEN, SENDS THE ANTS IN A ROUND TEST TUBE THAT IS LARGER THAN THE OPENING, WHEREBY MAKING IT NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO PLACE THE ANTS INTO THEIR NEW HOME???" As my mother opened the tube, the ants staged a coup and went ballistic! They were all running up over the note card funnel and jumping on to the table and the floor! We were all screaming and trying to use pencils, scissors or anything else available to put the ants where they belonged! We were out numbered, and I had no choice, but to defend myself against these fierce creatures. I grabbed a baby bib and began squashing them violently.(Needless to say, the bib ended up in the garbage) Autumn tried to rescue one of her new friends, but had to kill it when it reared up it's ugly head in an attack mode. By the time it was all said and done, we only there were only about 8 survivors out of 50 ants. It was a massacre. The casualties were astronomical. Autumn took it well, but found so ironic that we ended up killing most of the creatures we had waited for so long. My mother had a good point..."Why didn't we so this outside?" And you thought that only mothers of BOYS went through things like this!